Surrender to Succeed

Word surrender is one of the most beautiful words in the English language. But I feel it is also one of the most difficult of deeds. I am not talking about surrender of the military kind, but a kind of personal surrender in which you simply let go. Such surrender gives rise to an experience of beautiful serenity within, something that most of us have felt at some time or the other, but can’t seem to sustain it permanently.

If surrender brings so much peace, why is it so difficult? It’s because of our ‘ego’. This tiny, three-letter word has a significant impact on the quality of our lives. Our ego wants us to be in control of everything in and around us-our relationships, our health, our careers. The ego wants things its way and when that doesn’t happen, it reacts by evoking all kinds of unhealthy emotions. I wouldn’t be off the mark if I say that our ego is at the root of all our miseries. Fear, anxiety, guilt, frustration, greed, jealousy and all other emotions that don’t feel good, are always the result of the ego’s villainous insistence on being in control.


Because of our ego, we give excessive importance to winning. Our ego-driven society offers all the glory to winners, while losers are severely criticized. What’s worse is that those who fail to win actually believe that they’ve made a big blunder by losing. To the ego, a loss is evidence of lack of total control-and the ego hates it. So, many individuals simply don’t attempt anything because they fear losing. In the process, they live ordinary lives filled with little, if any, happiness in it.


The only antidote to problems that our ego creates is surrender. Your rogue ego cannot do much when you let go of your need to be right, to win, or to succeed at any cost. It may seem paradoxical, but when you live constantly in a mindset of surrender, you start functioning more efficiently because you now live minus the constant nagging of your nasty ego to live only to win-or else suffer.


But surrender cannot be achieved using the mind. Surrendering is an act of absolute trust. You trust existence and accept the unalterable truth that life is made up of ups and downs. When you trust God, a higher power, or existence, you will suddenly find yourself to be in complete control of your own life. You will live fully, totally in the moment without worrying about being ahead, being right, winning or succeeding. It will improve your chances of success and you will find that the quality of your life has enhanced.

Embrace Change

Years go by, unchanged. Then life changes, suddenly. What seemed unthinkable for years, happens. Without warning. This unpredictability is what gives our life its character. Things change. Situations change. Societies change. Even individuals change. Yet, human beings seem wired to resist change. We always seem to wish for status quo. This resistance to change gives rise to emotional conflicts within us and is at the heart of the emotional turmoil we experience.

Ironically, it is universally accepted that change is inevitable. Moreover, incremental change doesn’t affect us too much and is therefore easier to put up with. It’s those sudden, discontinuous, changes that are disruptive. To be sure, disruption is not always negative. It simply ensures that the way things were done or the way life was lived, doesn’t remain the same.

When we fall in love, most often it produces discontinuous change. Falling in love is involuntary, not a choice we make. But we still have a choice whether to follow those instincts. Of course, human beings are not always rational, least of all, in love. So love, even though it’s not, appears to be involuntary.

So change, incremental or discontinuous, is an indelible facet of life. The universe is in a continuous state of flux. Embracing change means bringing, and keeping, in our awareness its permanent nature. Once we embrace change instead of fighting it, we begin to live in the here and now-and that....

Mirror Talk..

Have you ever tired doing this? It helps me ease any sort of pangs any moment. And no stop that chuckle, its not my feminine vanity which makes me say that. Especially, when life is like a gloomy cloud casting a dark shadow on your spirits, a little Mirror talk always helps.

Misery loves company. Sounds rather like a worn out cliche right? Yet, how true it is! Misery eats mind like a worm and creeps in soul like a surreptitious cancer. And may be that’s why we indulge in the sheer drudgery of misery as it invades our senses.

Ever looked within when you are desperately dull and down? Life may look like a bottomless pit then, all it needs is a change of perspective to look at the brighter side of things. Everyone needs a mirror at times. What do you catch in those deep reflections? Some impressions are so deep that only lonely sojourn can help you find them. Walk to the nearest mirror, make all sort of antics, flush sadness with vehemence, pat your shoulder for this wonderful chance and thank God for all the love you have in life.

In one of those insightful conversations I had, One of my pals gave this beautiful example -"They say that the early bird gets the worm, but why don’t they realize that the early worm gets caught? Decide whether you are a worm or a bird before waking up and act accordingly". May be all that misery of the moment can be swept by a fresh perspective or a different mood. May be all that was needed is a change of mind or a new look with pink tinted glasses.

Dear dairy...

As I look to you in vain, your voice still remains....Like a blade it cuts me deep, eternally I shall weep.... As the memories begin to plague my mind,they begin to serrate and grind. Until I am nothing more than dirt,you disgusting, vile, evil flirt.

I try to unlock these shackles, which restrain me from staying sane. So that these thoughts and memories of you do not remain. Give me my freedom or give me apathy, a to numb this painful reality.

For now I shall await the other to cradle me...............
As I lay here in tears....

A Very Happy Independence Day...

EMBRACE THE SPIRIT OF FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Comfort Zone

I used to have a comfort zone where I knew I wouldn’t fail. The same four walls and busy work were really more like jail. I longed so much to do the things I’d never done before, but stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor.I said it didn’t matter that I wasn’t doing much. I said I didn’t care for things like commission checks and such. I claimed to be so busy with the things inside the zone, but deep inside I longed for something special of my own.
I couldn’t let my life go by just watching others win. I held my breath; I stepped outside and let the change begin. I took a step and with new strength I’d never felt before, I kissed my comfort zone goodbye and closed and locked the door.
I was in a comfort zone, afraid to venture out, one day i remembered that all winners were at one time filled with doubt. A step or two and words of praise could make my dreams come true.

Reach for your future with a smile; success is there for you!It's sooooooooo trueeeee for me.....

Thanks for all that love and encuoragement that i received from my loved ones...........

Kabir Vani and Software Engineer

Kabir :Aisi baani boliye, man ka aapa khoye Auron ko sheetal kare, aaphi sheetal hoye
SE:Aisa presentation dijiye, man ka aapa khoye, Auron ko confuse kare, aaphi confuse hoye
Kabir :Guru Govind doyu khade, kaake laagu payeBalihari guru aapke, govind diyo bataye
SE :Client aur manager doyu khade, kaake laagu payeBalihaari client aapke, manager diyo bataye.

Rahim :Rahiman dhaaga prem ka, mat todo chatkayetode se fir jude na, jude gaanth pad jaaye
SE :SE confidence manager, mat todo chatkayeProject to barbaad hoye hi, appraisal mein waat lag jaye.

Kabir :Dheere dheere re mana, dheere sab kuch hoye,Maali seenche sow ghara, ritu aaye phal hoye
SE :Dheere dheere re project leader, dheere project execute hoye,client dikhaye kitni bhi urgency, release deadline ke baad hi hoye..

Kabir :Jab Tun Aaya Jagat Mein , Log Hanse Tu RoyeAise Karni Na Kari , Pache Hanse Sab roye
SE :Jab project aaye company mein, client hase hum roye,Aisi karni na kari , tu hase client roye...

Kabir:Dukh Mein Sumiran Sab Kare , Sukh Mein Kare Na KoyeJo Sukh Mein Sumiran Kare , Tau Dukh Kahe Ko Hoye
SE:Rush hour mein kaam sab karen , routine mein kare na koye,jo routine mein sab kaam kare, to rush hour kaahe hoye.

Kabir :Pothhi padh padh jag mooya, pandit bhaya na koye,Dhai aakhar prem ka, padhe so pandit hoye
SE :Coding kar ar jag mooya, programmer bhaya na koye,Do shabd copy-paste ke, kare so programmer hoye.

Kabir :Chalati chakki dekh ke, diya Kabira roye,Do paatan ke beechmein, saabut bacha na koye
SE:Client aur manager ko dekhke, engineers saare roye,Deadline meet karne ke chakkar mein, saabut bacha na koye.

Kabir:Chinta Aisee Dakini, Kat Kaleja KhayeVaid Bichara Kya Kare , Kahan Tak Dawa Lagaye
SE:Deadline aisi dakini, man ka tension badhaaye,kaam itna ho sar par, time pe complete kaise ho paaye.

Kabir:Maala To Kar Mein Phire , Jeebh Phire Mukh MahinManua To Chahun Dish Phire, Yeh To Sumiran Nahin
SE:Engineer gaye sab cigarette peene, Leader phire office maahin,Cubicle se jyaada time canteen pe rahe, yeh to dedication naahin

Good One...

Parents are precious ,so take care of them........

This was narrated by an IAF pilot to IIT students during a Seminar on Human Relations:

Venkatesh Balasubramaniam (who works for IIT) describes how his gesture of booking an air ticket for his father, his maiden flight, brought forth a rush of emotions and made him (Venkatesh) realize that how much we all take for granted when it comes to our parents.

My parents left for our native place on Thursday and we went to the airport to see them off. In fact, my father had never traveled by air before, so I just took this opportunity to make him
experience the same. In spite of being asked to book tickets by train, I got them tickets on Jet Airways. The moment I handed over the tickets to him, he was surprised to see that I had booked them by air. The excitement was very apparent on his face, waiting for the time of travel.

Just like a school boy, he was preparing himself on that day and we all went to the airport, right from using the trolley for his luggage, the baggage check-in and asking for a window seat and waiting restlessly for the security check-in to happen. He was thoroughly enjoying himself and I, too, was overcome with joy watching him experience all these things.

As they were about to go in for the security check-in, he walked up to me with tears in his eyes and thanked me. He became very emotional and it was not as if I had done something great but the fact that this meant a great deal to him.

When he said thanks, I told him there was no need to thank me. But later, thinking about the entire incident, I looked back at my life. As a child, how many dreams our parents have made come true. Without understanding the financial situation, we ask for cricket bats, dresses, toys, outings, etc. Irrespective of their affordability, they have catered to all our needs. Did we ever think about the sacrifices they had to make to accommodate many of our wishes? Did we ever say thanks for all that they have done for us? Same way, today when it comes to our children, we always think that we should put them in a good school. Regardless of the amount of donation, we will ensure that we will have to give the child the best, theme parks, toys, etc. But we tend to
forget that our parents have sacrificed a lot for our sake to see us happy, so it is our responsibility to ensure that their dreams are realized and what they failed to see when they were young. It is our responsibility to ensure that they experience all those and their life
is complete.



Many times, when my parents had asked me some questions, I have actually answered back without patience. When my daughter asks me something, I have been very polite in answering. Now I realize how they would have felt at those moments.

Let us realize that old age is a second childhood and just as we take care of our children, the same attention and same care needs to be given to our parents and elders. Rather than my dad saying thank you to me, I would want to say sorry for making him wait so long for this small dream. I do realize how much he has sacrificed for my sake and I will do my best to give the best possible attention to all their wishes.

Just because they are old does not mean that they will have to give up everything and keep sacrificing for their grandchildren also. They have wishes, too.

Take care of your parents. THEY ARE PRECIOUS.